A poem about the kittens

My female human wrote this poem on the kittens.

The Blissfulness of Kittendom

From a vantage point two inches off the ground
I stalk my prey
dodging and weaving
growing into my paws,
my claws.
My head heavy,
pulling me down when I try to run.

But still I press on,
slipping and sliding on the hard floor:
Alert and aware of any threatening sound
(which is to say, any new sound at all)
My tail is raised to attention,
My back is arched
and my fur -
electric.

I close in
I crawl, I creep.
The world is fresh and new
and I am a hunter
as were my ancestors, and their blood runs through me

I wait
I wait
I wait
...and

Suddenly I pounce, leaping high into the air
bouncing when I land and rising even higher
I surprise and overpower the prey.
I trap it and
the blood pulses through me and I am alive

...

And the flip flop has no idea
what
just
hit it.

I'm Tulip, and I'm Guest Blogging!

Hi there! I'm Tulip! I think Auntie Wrigley talks about me sometimes, right? I met her in February. It was so cold outside and I had to ride in a big truck with my foster-mommy, and my mommy and I shared a carrier, and it was nice because she kept me warm, but I was happy that we weren't living outside anymore. I don't really remember the Outside Days, but my mommy does, and she always tells me that I can't run out of the house if my human-mommy accidentally leaves the door open because I might get lost, and she says that I couldn't find my way back home because I'm not the smartest kitten around. I don't know exactly what that means, but I always stay inside, just like mommy tells me. Even though there are birds and squirrels outside, and I would love to chase them, but mommy tells me to stay in. And then she licks my ears, so I forget about the squirrels and birds. And anyway, it's kind of ok because my human mommy gets me a lot of toys to play with, so there's always something fun to do when I'm not napping. And I like to play with Auntie Wrigley a lot!

Auntie Wrigley is letting me write today because she's too hot and tired. She said that she owed her adoring fans an update, but she couldn't because it is too hot, and she asked me to, but I don't know what an update to adoring fans means, so I'm going to tell you about what I like about Auntie Wrigley. My mommy doesn't understand her and thinks she's mean. But she's not. She's just misunderstood.

Auntie Wrigley never had any kitten playmates growing up like I did, so she doesn't always know how to play properly. But I teach her. She thinks that when I chase her and bite her tail, that I really want to hurt her. But then I just remind her. And then we wrestle. It's fun to wrestle with Auntie Wrigley because she doesn't know how to wrestle properly with a kitten. She knows how to wrestle with human feet, but not kittens. So I can always beat her. I pin her on her back and she tries to bat at me, but she never pulls out her claws, so I know she doesn't mean it. Sometimes mommy sees it and worries, but then we'll start purring, so mommy knows it's ok.

Auntie Wrigley always lets me eat her wet food. She takes a couple of bites, but then she gives it to me. She also lets me lay in her favorite pink bed, too. Which is really nice and smells like her. She also lets me use the scratching post, even if she's in the middle of it.

Right now Auntie Wrigley is laying in her spot on the windowsill. We had some treats tonight - the humans made steak and they gave us each two bites to nibble on. It was so yummy! And what else is happening here? Oh, the baby kittens are so cute! The humans let me sniff at them when they peek their heads out of the door sometimes. I'm so excited to get to play with them, but they're so tiny! Mommy told me that I was tiny like that once, but I don't believe it. I'm a big girl now and I don't think I was ever that tiny. They sure are small.

I guess that's all that's going on in the house right now. It's warm and I'm going to take a nap by the window where it's cool. Thanks for letting me say hi! Maybe Auntie Wrigley will let me write here again sometime!

I'm glad I'm not the one getting fixed today

The black cat that they used to call Sister (because they thought she was Polyphony's sister - honestly, they are so unimaginative) is now called Twilight, and she got fixed today. So we're all just chilling out and trying to be quiet and give her some space because she's all tired and grumpy and doesn't know what's going on. We've all been through it before, so we know the gig. I kind of feel sorry for her, but I'd never admit that, so don't go telling anyone.

And my female human got some contraption called an elliptical machine a few weeks ago. It's making me mad because she inconsiderately put it in the office, which just happens to be the only room I feel comfortable in these days since my territory keeps shrinking. So now, not only is this monstrosity in my space, but she's in there every day huffing and puffing, and she turns the tv up REALLY loudly so she can hear it over the noise of the machine beeping, and it completely destroys my nap time. It's just so rude. Honestly, these humans just have no manners.

I just don't know how anybody expects me to thrive and reach my full potential in this environment! Cats everywhere, cat hair on my gorgeous fur, litterboxes with scents that aren't mine. It's all just becoming a bit much. Fortunately my human always feeds me in the office so I don't have to eat in the same room with them and their bad manners. Additionally, she always leaves copies of her New Yorker around, so I can catch up on all the news that's important, and not the neighborhood talk around here, which consists mostly of who has the best hairballs.

Wrigley's parents have been very busy...

With Polyphony's babies. Now I'm a little too stoic and sophisticated to be swayed by cute kittens, but these ones sure are something special.

I'm no good unless I've had my coffee

I mean, given the fact that I now live with Cat People, and a house full of furry felines, I savor any bit of rest I can get these days.

We had a sad day yesterday. The big outdoor patriarch, Big Boy, had to be put down. I never liked him much, and we batted at each other through the window; but he was a good dad to his brood, and the humans are hugely distraught, and he had FIV (kitty hiv) and I wouldn't wish that on my worst feline enemy, so I'm giving him his due respect.

I hope he's doing well in Kitty Heaven now. His daughter, Polyphony, is due in a few days, so he'll have a legacy. I know I won't get to see the kittens until they are at least a few weeks old (and I really have much too much to think about to care anyway) but I suppose I will be able to bring myself to show at least a little bit of interest. They might be somewhat cuddly.

Polyphony is Pregnant and totally hormonal

So the humans found out the other day that Polyphony, the new little black cat, is pregnant. They found out when it was too late to spay her, so we're gonna get kittens in about a week or so.

They sequestered her in her Pregnancy Room (the back bedroom and bathroom) because she was getting totally hormonal. The other day she chased all of us into separate corners and growled at us when we tried to go past her. Seriously, she's too much. I guess it's hard for her because she's so young. She's only 6 months old. Still a baby. She really has no clue what's going on, and I'm sure it's upsetting to her.

She still shouldn't take it out on me, though.

The humans have contacted the humane league, who will help out with getting them adopted out, because lord knows, if there were going to be kittens in the house forever, I'd howl.

The little black cat's Sister also came into the house recently. So now the roster includes:

1. Me
2. Tulip
3. Blossom
4. Polyphony
5. Polyphony's sister (she's still nameless - they just call her Sister)

And there will be kittens soon.

But I think that they will adopt Polyphony out after the kittens go, because Sister is really nice and has been fitting in well, but Polyphony is just a b*tch. We'll see how she is after she gives birth, though. She's pretty cute.

I refuse to eat with everyone these days. When the female human gets the food ready for us all, she puts all the bowls down, and I just hover at the doorway, watching and staying out of the fray. Then she brings me my food into the office, and I eat there, in privacy.

Here's a video of Polyphony's belly, if you're interested. I'll be sure to keep everyone updated. It's such a stressful time, but Tulip has been teaching me kitty-yoga and we've been chilling out on a new catnip play mat that the female got at a place she practically lives at called Target (I thought maybe it was a church or something, since she goes so often, but then I heard her say that she gives way more than a tithe to Target, so it must be something different).

One of the (few) things I like about having other cats in the house

The humans have other people to do things like this to. It really is nice to just sit back and watch, and stifle a giggle. If it means I don't have to wear dresses like this, I'm all about sisters.