Afternoon naps

Here I am taking a lovely Sunday afternoon nap, comfy in my unmade bed. My female human was outside gardening, and took this picture through the window. I'm pretty adorable, if I do say so myself.

I'm happy because it's the new season of So You Think You Can Dance, which is my favorite show. I do a lot of fancy footwork when I'm chasing the laser pointer, and I have a sneaking suspicion that I could make it through to Vegas in the first round.

I'm enjoying springtime. There are lots of fun spiders moving inside, and the kittens and I are having a really fun time chasing them. Also, the other day, there was a giant ant making his way across the living room floor. We all took turns batting at him until the female human came and screamed and calle for the male human to kill it. Bummer. We really wanted to keep playing with it.

Mean Wrigley

This is me, in my Mean Mood. You can't tell it from the picture, but I'm buried under a bunch of pillows on the one side. It was a place of safety and warmth, and I'm in need of both of those lately.

First off, my human gets a neck/shoulder injury and winds up spending a week totally high on vicodin, muscle relaxants, and anti-inflammatory meds. Which means that I have no one to transcribe my pleas of help to the outside world. Then I started fighting with Polly more. You know, I'm just sick of her. And I'm showing her. The other day I trapped her in the bathroom by plopping myself right at the door, and whenever she tried to get past me, I hissed. Well, the male human saw this, and he had the nerve to lift me up, and without the proper grace that I require, and he actually yelled at me for it. So now I'm refusing to give him any love.

Although I did crawl into bed with them the other night when no one was around and slept in between their feet for a good 4 hours or so.

But as far as anyone is concerned, I'm fed up. My male human cancelled a bunch of my favorite tv channels the other day. Here he was, talking to the female, all "you know, we never watch these channels above 1000...let's call and cancel and it'll cut our bill by like $40" and she agrees. Did anybody ever ask me whether I care about the NHL channel? Listen, I like to watch grown men on ice fighting and spilling blood as much as anybody else. What do they think I DO all night while they're asleep? I've gotta stay occupied somehow, and since they refuse to let me fight with Polly, I need to watch the next best thing.

And my female human won't take me for walks anymore. She keeps saying she might, but the other day, she was out in her garden, and she took Twilight out. Without a leash. She said that it was ok because Twilight was one of the outdoor cats who moved in last year, and she stays on the porch with the human after having her ritualistic exploration under the deck where she used to live, and she won't run off. Well did anybody ever ask me whether I'd run off? No! Oh, I seethed, watching Twilight roll around in the ivy and scratch trees. The female human is all "oh, Wrigley's never lived outside, she might run off and get hit by a car," and all that crap. Well how does she know? Just because she's known me since I was three weeks old doesn't mean anything. I could have lived outside before then. I didn't. But I could have. She doesn't know, that's the point. Yet she assumes she knows.

Oh, I'm mad right now.

The one upside was that they gave me special kitty-milk they got at a place called Petsmart the other day. I really loved it. But then I threw it up. So now they're saying they might not give it to me again. Look, there were plenty of times when I saw the female human throwing up after she drank too much of something in a glass with a stem, but did she stop bringing those bottles home? Did I ever say "Oh, no more of this pinot for you, female human!" Nope, I just encouraged her to not drink to the point of throwing up, and now she's fine. It will just take me some time to get used to how much kitty-milk I can handle! We're at a high altitude now, which I've heard makes a difference in the effects of liquid refreshments. I sure hope I get kitty-milk again. I love that kitty-milk.

Nap Time

Tulip and I were napping, and yeah, we might have been snuggling a teensy little bit...whatever..and then we were rudely awakened by our female human, and a bright flash. I am not surprised that the kittens can't seem to learn any good manners when I look at the example the female human sets. Sneaking up on cuddling cats and waking them up just to take a picture. The nerve of that woman.

And here's something else. There are all these birds around, right? And we all want to chase them. So she tells me she'll let me go outside, and I get all dressed up and excited, and get my bird-catching shoes ready, and she carries me outside, and when she puts me down I realize that I am on a leash. A leash! Like a dog! Well. I am not a dog, I told her. I am a regal cat, to be worshipped, and not to be put on a leash. "Take this leash off at once, human," I demanded. But she didn't. Oh, it was horrible. All the other cats saw. They all are calling me Fido now. Someday I shall sneak up on my human when she sleeps and put a flash bulb in her face and see how she likes it. Oh, it is just too humiliating for words.

Sometimes you just have to hide from the world

I had a Big Adventure this week, and I'm recovering now. The female human took me outside to play a little bit in the forest last evening at twilight, and it was so much fun. She carried me in her arms until we got to an open space - I never knew we lived so close to a big forest, but apparently we are only two houses away. At the open space she put me down and stayed with me while I walked around and sniffed everything. I smelled all the plants, I scratched a tree, I dug around in some dirt, and I jumped onto some rocks. It was so awesome. But then it got dark, and the human was worried she wouldn't be able to see me and I could get away, so she picked me back up and took me home.

When I got home all the other cats crowded around sniffing me, which I wasn't particularly happy about. They all were asking how come I got to go outside, and did I do something special or was it my birthday or something? I said maybe I was just cuter than them. Now Blossom is standing at the door howling at it. But the humans won't let her out. Me, I'm just laying here recovering from my time outside and remembering how much fun it was. The female human has said that if she can find my leash, she might take me out to play when she works in her garden. I sure hope she finds it!

If Anna Wintour could see me outside in the gorgeous greenery, I just know she'd put me on the cover of Kitty Vogue!

Everything is ok with my catnip bars

It's springtime, so there are lots of birds outside that I want to chase.

Instead I'm hanging out on the floor, rolling around in these wonderful cloth catnip bars that the female human bought for me at her favorite place called Target. Oh, I love them! I chase them around the house, I bat at them, and sometimes I just lay on top of them and absorb all the cat-nippy goodness inside. The other cats act strange around catnip. Polly just wants to roll her head in it. Blossom licks her belly. And Lewis Hamilton, one of the kittens, gets all affectionate and tries to sit on everyone. Me, I'm just chill. You know, watching some movie with Seth Rogan and playing some video games and eating a lot of dry food. Nothing bothers me when I have a catnip bar handy. Man, life is good today! Springtime and catnip and open windows with nice breezes. What more can you ask for?

Every girl needs a place to primp

I got an early Christmas present today... a place to primp and pluck my eyebrows and stuff like that. The other day my mom noticed that I was having a lot of fun playing with myself in front of her full length mirror. I didn't realize it was me at first. I just saw this gorgeous and stunning cat that looked friendly enough, and didn't look like it was going to attack me, so I went up and sniffed it, and I just smelled myself. It was sooooo cool. I thought I'd found my long-lost twin sister! But when I looked behind the mirror, there was no one there. Then I thought it was some freaky "Through the Looking Glass" thing, but then mommy came up behind me, and I noticed that she was also finding her twin sister in the glass, but she didn't seem that excited. Then she started making me dance, and I realized that my long-lost sister was also dancing. It was just too fascinating. She was just so beautiful, doing this belly dance to techno music. I was like, "man, if I'm as cute as she is, I must be some kinda gorgeous!" I just didn't want to leave. I was having all kinds of deep conversations with my long lost twin. So then mommy moved this other magic looking glass thing to my favorite nap spot, so I can look into it while I'm falling asleep and have dreamy slumber party girl talk with my long lost twin. And I can also admire just how gorgeous I am. But I'm a little worried - I'm already four and a half years old. My peak years to be on the cover of Kitty Vogue are going to be coming and going soon. Why won't Anna Wintour offer me a cover? What can I do?

Bad Day

I'm recovering from a Bad Day. All in the space of three minutes I got my nails stuck in my male human's sweater, and then while I was stuck, Polly the Mean came and attacked me. My fur went flying and I couldn't get loose to fight back because of being stuck on the male human's sweater. The male human scared Polly the Mean away, and my mommy came to calm me down because I was hissing like crazy. I growled a little bit and tried to get away, but mommy held me and petted me and whispered to me that it would be ok, and then she gave me catnip and stayed with me for about 20 minutes and petted me while the male human yelled at Polly the Mean. She didn't get any catnip. Blossom and I got catnip and got slightly loopy off of it. I spent the rest of the day in a mild stupor and now I'm just sitting on the top of a bookcase while my humans watch tv. They're watching a Will Ferrell movie, and that humor is below my standards, but I'm subjecting myself to it anyway just so I can be in the living room where it's warm. The humans have told me I can sleep with them alone tonight so I'm looking forward to a restful night. This whole living with other cats thing really stinks sometimes. I miss the Beginning when I just lived with mommy and before she met the male human and then they got all these other cats. It was nice and quiet living just with mommy. It was kind of boring, though, I guess. I'll feel better after a good night's sleep.