...my female human had something called "surgery" done last week. This has me terribly inconvenienced as she keeps forgetting to give me my hairball treats in the morning with my breakfast. The male human never feeds me, so he doesn't know what to do about it. Plus, she's wandering around the house moaning about how sore she is.
I had surgery once, but then they called it getting me "fixed". You didn't see me wandering around moaning about how sore I was. No sireeee. I was brave and gorgeous. I did try to eat my stitches, but at least I wasn't moaning.
Plus there have been more humans around. The female's parents have been here visiting. This house is too small for anyone but me, but especially not two more humans taking up my spots with their suitcases. The nerve of them.
And last night a family of raccoons was out on the deck. The papa one was at least five times my size. And the babies were twice as big as me. They were mocking me. The humans were all "ooooh" and "aren't they cute!" and everything like that when the raccoons came and looked through the glass doorway at them. So simple and easily amused, they are.
The raccoons were really teasing me for being inside while they were all bushy and furry and supposedly great outdoor hunters.
Whatever. They're just jealous. Because sometimes, when I'm feeling generous, I let my humans rub my belly. And I would never admit this, but there really isn't anything in the world as wonderful as getting your belly rubbed while you're in the middle of a nap, and you're all warm and dreaming of fish and birds, and you know there's a dish of wet food in the kitchen for when your full belly is empty again, and you can nuzzle your head into your humans' hand and let her love you for just a few minutes...