Fall Fashions

This is me modeling my newest Fall Fashion, a lovely warm scarf with mittens on the end for when my paws get cold. I'm warm and cozy, and I think the color looks just great on my gray coat. Man, I'm snazzy. I might go out tonight, just to show off my great new outfit. It even secures with velcro, so I can get it off easily when I'm tired of it. My female human got it at her regular haunt, Target, but she told me it was Gucci so I would wear it. I only realized after she took it off me and I saw the label. I'm trying to not be a label snob, though.

Anyway, things are poking along like normal here. I haven't been fighting as much with Polly as normal. I think I'm getting bored with it. I'm looking forward to the holidays, though, as there will surely be lots of leftover turkey for yours truly. The only thing that made me mad today was that my human gave a can of tuna to an outside cat. I would have loved to have a lick or three of tuna, but she said no. She said that I was lucky that I didn't have to live outside and I had a nice warm bed and regular food, so I could just live with not having tuna, and for the outside cat it might be a really big deal and help keep him warm. I stuck my nose up at her. Mean lady.

No, this is not me enjoying cuddling on a snowy day

It was photoshopped, I swear it. I never would willingly lay down on a fluffy unmade bed with at least two or three other kittens, taking a nap while there's snow outside. There's no way I would do that. Somebody took this picture and then added me in. I'd sue, but I'm only a cat, and despite the success of Bee Movie, where the bee sues humans, Jerry Seinfeld lives in a different world than the rest of us, so I'm not holding my breath that my meow-recognition software would hold up in drafting a legal brief.

Did anybody catch the Puppy Bowl on the Animal Planet channel on Superbowl Sunday? My humans did something they call "tivo" to it. I don't know what that means exactly, but somehow we watched it. Those puppies sure were kinda dumb. But then the Kitty Halftime Show just really ticked me off. Mostly because it was giving ideas to the kittens who live in the house with me, and suddenly they got all playful and wanted to sniff me. Just because I've stopped hissing at them every minute of the day, they seem to think I want to be friends, and show up looking all eager for a bath. Harumph. Like I'm gonna give those mountain kittens a bath. I'm French, for pete's sake! I don't do baths unless they are scented with Chanel.

My humans are still snowed in, which means that they're getting all antsy and want to play with me, too. My female human had the nerve to pick me up today, hold me like a baby, and scratch my tummy. I mean, the nerve. I'm the oldest cat in this household, and have the most seniority. I should not be treated like an infant. There really is no end to the indignity that I suffer in this house. And now this stupid picture surfaces of what appears to be me cuddling with cats. I will never live this down.

The one bright spot is that the human has planted fresh catnip, which means in a few days I'll have all I can hold of my drug of choice. Mmmmm. Catnip. I can hardly wait.

The Breeze litter system (and strawberry smoothies)

My female human has been checking out the Breeze litter system at Target for a couple of months now, intrigued by its promise of odor control and no tracking. She gets really upset when she's walking around barefoot and feels litter underneath. It really sets her off. So a few weeks ago, we all started getting "transitioned" to the Breeze, which is essentially a two level thing. These non-absorbent pellets let our liquid go down into the bottom level where a piddle-pad picks it up and keeps it from smelling. The solid stuff stays on top in the pellets just like litter. I guess the final changeover is happening this week. Up till now she's kept some litter boxes around in case one of us refuses to use the Breeze. But now we have four Breezes hanging around, and the female is officially telling us she's getting rid of the litter tomorrow, so we'd better enjoy it while we can.

I am having a good time playing around in it. She tells me that when I was a kitten I didn't know how to use the litter box yet and I just played around and felt the litter between my paws and scratched in it. She tells me I was very cute. Whatever.

So we're all a little weirded out by this Breeze thing, but it seems to be ok. If it keeps the human from going around with a little dustbrush and pan all the time, cleaning up my beautiful artistic litter creations, then I'll be ok with it.
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I have discovered my new favorite treat - strawberry smoothies! Oh, they are yummy. My human made one the other day with strawberries, ice, milk and a little bit of sugar and banana. I drank all the leftover in the blender container thing as it was sitting in the sink. She didn't know, and kept wondering what happened, but then as it turned out, some of it got stuck on my face, so it gave the whole thing away, which made me mad. Anyway, I'm a big fan of blenders and smoothies.

A break from my normal complaints

I was going to complain about my new litter system today (and people don't think that cats live adventurous lives!) but my human heard a podcast from NPR that made her cry, and convinced me to share it with you. I would never admit to crying over a silly cat story, but I did get some allergic thing going on when I heard it, and some non-tears which I had to wipe away with my paw.

Listen and think what you will about it. My human hugged us all pretty tightly after hearing it, so if you have something furry around, you might want to have it close by. But then again, my human gets weepy over everything. You should have seen her during last week's inauguration.

Life returns to Normal after my Humans Desert Me

Oh, and Happy New Year.

My humans deserted me for 12 days. 12 whole days. The heat was out and I was freezing.

Oh, ok, so they did arrange for Tara of Heart and Soul Pet Care to come visit me each day. She fed me and watered me, gave me my hairball treats and played with me.

So I can't be too much of a martyr about it.

Either way, it still sucked.

It sucked so much I let the humans hold me for about 15 minutes last night when they got home. And I slept in their bed with them.

Yeah, I love them. I'm a sissy cat sometimes. But I'm strong enough to admit it.

After a few days I'll go back to my normal routine of ignoring them and complaining about the lack of quality catnip, but for now, I'm just enjoying some warmth in the house and pats on my belly whenever I want them.

it's been a hard few days...

...my female human had something called "surgery" done last week. This has me terribly inconvenienced as she keeps forgetting to give me my hairball treats in the morning with my breakfast. The male human never feeds me, so he doesn't know what to do about it. Plus, she's wandering around the house moaning about how sore she is.

I had surgery once, but then they called it getting me "fixed". You didn't see me wandering around moaning about how sore I was. No sireeee. I was brave and gorgeous. I did try to eat my stitches, but at least I wasn't moaning.

Plus there have been more humans around. The female's parents have been here visiting. This house is too small for anyone but me, but especially not two more humans taking up my spots with their suitcases. The nerve of them.

And last night a family of raccoons was out on the deck. The papa one was at least five times my size. And the babies were twice as big as me. They were mocking me. The humans were all "ooooh" and "aren't they cute!" and everything like that when the raccoons came and looked through the glass doorway at them. So simple and easily amused, they are.

The raccoons were really teasing me for being inside while they were all bushy and furry and supposedly great outdoor hunters.

Whatever. They're just jealous. Because sometimes, when I'm feeling generous, I let my humans rub my belly. And I would never admit this, but there really isn't anything in the world as wonderful as getting your belly rubbed while you're in the middle of a nap, and you're all warm and dreaming of fish and birds, and you know there's a dish of wet food in the kitchen for when your full belly is empty again, and you can nuzzle your head into your humans' hand and let her love you for just a few minutes...