Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bad Day

I'm recovering from a Bad Day. All in the space of three minutes I got my nails stuck in my male human's sweater, and then while I was stuck, Polly the Mean came and attacked me. My fur went flying and I couldn't get loose to fight back because of being stuck on the male human's sweater. The male human scared Polly the Mean away, and my mommy came to calm me down because I was hissing like crazy. I growled a little bit and tried to get away, but mommy held me and petted me and whispered to me that it would be ok, and then she gave me catnip and stayed with me for about 20 minutes and petted me while the male human yelled at Polly the Mean. She didn't get any catnip. Blossom and I got catnip and got slightly loopy off of it. I spent the rest of the day in a mild stupor and now I'm just sitting on the top of a bookcase while my humans watch tv. They're watching a Will Ferrell movie, and that humor is below my standards, but I'm subjecting myself to it anyway just so I can be in the living room where it's warm. The humans have told me I can sleep with them alone tonight so I'm looking forward to a restful night. This whole living with other cats thing really stinks sometimes. I miss the Beginning when I just lived with mommy and before she met the male human and then they got all these other cats. It was nice and quiet living just with mommy. It was kind of boring, though, I guess. I'll feel better after a good night's sleep.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

No, this is not me enjoying cuddling on a snowy day

It was photoshopped, I swear it. I never would willingly lay down on a fluffy unmade bed with at least two or three other kittens, taking a nap while there's snow outside. There's no way I would do that. Somebody took this picture and then added me in. I'd sue, but I'm only a cat, and despite the success of Bee Movie, where the bee sues humans, Jerry Seinfeld lives in a different world than the rest of us, so I'm not holding my breath that my meow-recognition software would hold up in drafting a legal brief.

Did anybody catch the Puppy Bowl on the Animal Planet channel on Superbowl Sunday? My humans did something they call "tivo" to it. I don't know what that means exactly, but somehow we watched it. Those puppies sure were kinda dumb. But then the Kitty Halftime Show just really ticked me off. Mostly because it was giving ideas to the kittens who live in the house with me, and suddenly they got all playful and wanted to sniff me. Just because I've stopped hissing at them every minute of the day, they seem to think I want to be friends, and show up looking all eager for a bath. Harumph. Like I'm gonna give those mountain kittens a bath. I'm French, for pete's sake! I don't do baths unless they are scented with Chanel.

My humans are still snowed in, which means that they're getting all antsy and want to play with me, too. My female human had the nerve to pick me up today, hold me like a baby, and scratch my tummy. I mean, the nerve. I'm the oldest cat in this household, and have the most seniority. I should not be treated like an infant. There really is no end to the indignity that I suffer in this house. And now this stupid picture surfaces of what appears to be me cuddling with cats. I will never live this down.

The one bright spot is that the human has planted fresh catnip, which means in a few days I'll have all I can hold of my drug of choice. Mmmmm. Catnip. I can hardly wait.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My new favorite food

My female human made a strawberry smoothie today with strawberries, ice, milk and ice cream. I sniffed it and decided I liked it as much as I did the last time she made one, so I ate a little bit she put on a plate for me. My other favorite food lately is dry rice krispies. I didn't want any chicken tonight, though. Just rice krispies and strawberry smoothie. The foods no one else likes to eat, so I don't get bothered by other people trying to eat my food.

I have such cultured tastes.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Breeze litter system (and strawberry smoothies)

My female human has been checking out the Breeze litter system at Target for a couple of months now, intrigued by its promise of odor control and no tracking. She gets really upset when she's walking around barefoot and feels litter underneath. It really sets her off. So a few weeks ago, we all started getting "transitioned" to the Breeze, which is essentially a two level thing. These non-absorbent pellets let our liquid go down into the bottom level where a piddle-pad picks it up and keeps it from smelling. The solid stuff stays on top in the pellets just like litter. I guess the final changeover is happening this week. Up till now she's kept some litter boxes around in case one of us refuses to use the Breeze. But now we have four Breezes hanging around, and the female is officially telling us she's getting rid of the litter tomorrow, so we'd better enjoy it while we can.

I am having a good time playing around in it. She tells me that when I was a kitten I didn't know how to use the litter box yet and I just played around and felt the litter between my paws and scratched in it. She tells me I was very cute. Whatever.

So we're all a little weirded out by this Breeze thing, but it seems to be ok. If it keeps the human from going around with a little dustbrush and pan all the time, cleaning up my beautiful artistic litter creations, then I'll be ok with it.
I have discovered my new favorite treat - strawberry smoothies! Oh, they are yummy. My human made one the other day with strawberries, ice, milk and a little bit of sugar and banana. I drank all the leftover in the blender container thing as it was sitting in the sink. She didn't know, and kept wondering what happened, but then as it turned out, some of it got stuck on my face, so it gave the whole thing away, which made me mad. Anyway, I'm a big fan of blenders and smoothies.