Sometimes you just have to hide from the world

I had a Big Adventure this week, and I'm recovering now. The female human took me outside to play a little bit in the forest last evening at twilight, and it was so much fun. She carried me in her arms until we got to an open space - I never knew we lived so close to a big forest, but apparently we are only two houses away. At the open space she put me down and stayed with me while I walked around and sniffed everything. I smelled all the plants, I scratched a tree, I dug around in some dirt, and I jumped onto some rocks. It was so awesome. But then it got dark, and the human was worried she wouldn't be able to see me and I could get away, so she picked me back up and took me home.

When I got home all the other cats crowded around sniffing me, which I wasn't particularly happy about. They all were asking how come I got to go outside, and did I do something special or was it my birthday or something? I said maybe I was just cuter than them. Now Blossom is standing at the door howling at it. But the humans won't let her out. Me, I'm just laying here recovering from my time outside and remembering how much fun it was. The female human has said that if she can find my leash, she might take me out to play when she works in her garden. I sure hope she finds it!

If Anna Wintour could see me outside in the gorgeous greenery, I just know she'd put me on the cover of Kitty Vogue!

Every girl needs a place to primp

I got an early Christmas present today... a place to primp and pluck my eyebrows and stuff like that. The other day my mom noticed that I was having a lot of fun playing with myself in front of her full length mirror. I didn't realize it was me at first. I just saw this gorgeous and stunning cat that looked friendly enough, and didn't look like it was going to attack me, so I went up and sniffed it, and I just smelled myself. It was sooooo cool. I thought I'd found my long-lost twin sister! But when I looked behind the mirror, there was no one there. Then I thought it was some freaky "Through the Looking Glass" thing, but then mommy came up behind me, and I noticed that she was also finding her twin sister in the glass, but she didn't seem that excited. Then she started making me dance, and I realized that my long-lost sister was also dancing. It was just too fascinating. She was just so beautiful, doing this belly dance to techno music. I was like, "man, if I'm as cute as she is, I must be some kinda gorgeous!" I just didn't want to leave. I was having all kinds of deep conversations with my long lost twin. So then mommy moved this other magic looking glass thing to my favorite nap spot, so I can look into it while I'm falling asleep and have dreamy slumber party girl talk with my long lost twin. And I can also admire just how gorgeous I am. But I'm a little worried - I'm already four and a half years old. My peak years to be on the cover of Kitty Vogue are going to be coming and going soon. Why won't Anna Wintour offer me a cover? What can I do?

Merry Christmas

Here I am feeling festive in my green tshirt. Christmas is a tolerable time of year for me. True, there are more humans around than I'd like - the male human's parents have been here, though they worship me the way I should be worshipped, so it's ok. They get out of my chair when I want them to, and pet me with their feet.

And I got some Christmas treats, so that's nice. Anna Wintour still hasn't contacted me about being a cover kitty, but I am nurturing my dream anyway. Maybe in 2008. Everyone said I was gorgeous this weekend. I just hope word gets to New York soon, before I start getting wrinkles.

My new perch

Here I am looking dreamy and distant in my new perch in my new house. Almost the entire house has my scent around it now, which is comforting. And I can take some time to rest and stare out the window now that settling-in work is getting finished.

I'm trying to perfect my dreamy and distant pose because I live in constant hope that Anna Wintour will start a Kitty Vogue and I'd just love to be a cover cat. Especially now that I know I'm French, it has only confirmed my belief that I am cut out for a much grander life than the one I'm living now. I dream of crazy catnip parties, excellent wet food at all hours, and no humans trying to cuddle with me.

I have met one of the local-yokel cats who live in my new neighborhood. The Little Black Cat comes and hangs around on the deck outside. He sticks his little head right up to the glass front door, and the other day my female human didn't even realize he was here - she thought he was a reflection of me in the glass (goes to show she can't appreciate my beauty). So he and I jumped up and down a few times - I made my tail puffy to show him who he's messing with - and he did some stupid cat thing where he ran into the glass trying to get to me. Dumb*ss.

Why, oh why, couldn't the humans taken me to New York or somewhere that has the class and culture deserving of my presence? But no, they just keep thinking of more and more ways to degrade the wonder that is me.

Someday they'll learn.

What happens when you drink too much milk at the office party...

Oi vey. Too much festiveness, already this early in the season. Just you wait for New Years!

Kitty Vogue

Here I am, looking dreamy and distant in my gray fur (so trendy for fall), perfect for chilly nights in the Bay Area.
Lots of kitty models relax with catnip. It really chills you out. You just need to be careful to not indulge in the tuna canapes too much.